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Howells, William Dean, 1837-1920

"The Elevator"

"
MRS. ROBERTS, introducing them: "Mr. Bemis, have you met Mrs.
Miller?" She drifts away again, manifestly too uneasy to resume even
a provisional pose on the sofa, and walks detachedly about the room.
BEMIS: "What a lovely apartment Mrs. Roberts has."
MRS. MILLER: "Exquisite! But then she has such perfect taste."
BEMIS, to MRS. ROBERTS, who drifts near them: "We were talking about
your apartment, Mrs. Roberts. It's charming."
MRS. ROBERTS: "It IS nice. It's the ideal way of living. All on
one floor. No stairs. Nothing."
BEMIS: "Yes, when once you get here! But that little matter of five
pair up" -
MRS. ROBERTS: "You don't mean to say you WALKED up! Why in the
world didn't you take the elevator?"
BEMIS: "I didn't know you had one."
MRS. ROBERTS: "It's the only thing that makes life worth living in a
flat. All these apartment hotels have them."
BEMIS: "Bless me! Well, you see, I've been away from Boston so
long, and am back so short a time, that I can't realize your luxuries
and conveniences. In Florence we ALWAYS walk up. They have
ascenseurs in a few great hotels, and they brag of it in immense
signs on the sides of the building."
LAWTON: "What pastoral simplicity! We are elevated here to a degree
that you can't conceive of, gentle shepherd.


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