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Wood, Eugene, 1860-1923

"Back Home"

Think we can see through you? You're thin,
but you're not thin enough for that. Yes, I mean you, and don't
you give me any of your impudence either. Look at those women out
there. Right spang in the way of the scraper. Isn't that a woman
all over? A woman and a hen, I don't know which is - Well, hel-lo!
Where'd you come from? How's all the folks? Where's Lizzie?
Didn't she come with you? Aw, isn't that too bad? Scalding hot!
Ts! Ts! Ts! Seems as if they made preserving kettles apurpose so's
they'd tip up when you go to pour anything . . . . Why, I guess we
can. Move over a little, Charley. Can you squeeze in? That's all
right. Pretty thick around here, isn't it? There's the band
starting up. About time, I think. Teedle-eedle umtum, teedle-eedle,
um-tum. "Hiawatha,"of course. What other tune is there on earth?
I've got so I know almost all of it.
First is - let me see the program. First is what Mat. King calls
"the juveline contest." It says here: "Run with truck carrying
three ladders one hundred yards. Take fifteen-foot ladder from
truck, raise it against structure" - that's the judges' stand -
"and boy ascend. Time to be taken when climber grasps top rung of
ladder." They're off. That pistol-shot started them. Why can't
people sit down? See just as well if they did.


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