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Wood, Eugene, 1860-1923

"Back Home"

Fell off the
roof.) Well, sir, I thought sure you'd broken your neck. You
don't know your luck. And let me tell you one thing, my bold bucko:
You'll do that just once too often. Now you mark."

The day before the Weekly Examiner goes to press, Mr. Swope hands
the editor a composition entitled: "A Card of Thanks," signed by
John K. and Amelia M. Swope, and addressed to the firemen and all
who showed by their many acts of kindness, and so forth and so on.
"Kind of help to fill up the paper," says Mr. Swope, covering his
retreat.
"Sure," replies the editor. When Mr. Swope is good and gone, he
says: "Dog my riggin's if I didn't forget all about writing up
that fire. Been so busy here lately. Good thing he come in. Hay,
Andy!"
"Watch want?" from the composing-room.
"Got room for about two sticks more?"
"Yes, guess so. If it don't run over that."
A brief silence. Then:
"Hay, Andy?"
"What ?"
"Is it 'had have,' or 'had of ?"
"What's the connection?"
"Why-ah. 'If the gallant fire-laddies, under the able direction of
Chief Charley Lomax, had of had a sufficiency of water with which
to cope with the devouring element - 'etc."
"'Had have,' I guess. I don't know."
"Guess you're right. Run it that way anyhow."


CIRCUS DAY

Only the other day, the man that in all this country knows better
than anybody else how a circus should be advertised, said (with
some sadness, I do believe) that it didn't pay any longer to put up
showbills; the money was better invested in newspaper advertising.


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