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Wood, Eugene, 1860-1923

"Back Home"

And the Drunkard had hold of a black quart bottle,
and his nose was all red, and he wore a plug hat that was even
rustier and more caved in than Elder Drown's, if such a thing were
possible. And there was - But I can't begin to tell you of all
the fine things Mr. Barnum had that year, but never had again.
Another thing Mr. Barnum had that year that never appeared again.
It may be that after that time the Funny Old Clown did crack a
joke, but I never heard him. The one that Mr. Barnum had got off
the most comical thing you ever heard. I'll never forget it the
longest day I live. Laugh? Why, I nearly took a conniption over
it. It seems the clown got to crying about something . . . . Now
what was it made him cry? Let me see now . . . . Ain't it queer I
can't remember that? Fudge! Well, never mind now. It will come
to me in a minute.
I feel kind of sorry for the poor little young ones that grow up
and never know what a clown is like. Oh, yes, they have them
to-day, after a fashion. They stub their toes and fall down the
same as ever, but there is a whole mob of them and you can't take
the interest in them that you could in "the one, the only, the
inimitable" clown there used to be, a character of such
importance that he got his name on the bills. He was a mighty
man in those days.


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