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Wood, Eugene, 1860-1923

"Back Home"

Every child in the
Sunday-school was to get a bag of candy and an orange, and there
were going to be "exercises." Curg thought it would be kind of
funny to go through gymnastics, but, just then, he saw Uncle Billy
Nicholson come in, and he hid. He didn't want to be patted on the
head and - asked things.
Uncle Billy had his mouth all puckered up, and his eyebrows looked
more like tooth-brushes than ever. He put down the list of groceries
that Aunt Libby had written out for him, because he couldn't remember
things very well, and commenced to lay down the law.
"Such carryin's on in the house o' God!" he snorted. "Why the very
idy! Talk about them Pharisees an' Sadducees a-makin' the temple a
den o' thieves! W'y, you're a-turnin' it into a theayter with your
play-actin' tomfoolery! They'll be no blessin' on it, now you mark."
"Aunt Libby say whether she wanted stoned raisins?" asked Brother
Littell, who was copying off the list on the order book.
"I disremember, but you better send up the reg'lar raisins. Gittin'
too many newfangled contraptions these days. They're a-callin' it
a theayter right now, the Babtists is. What you astin' fer your
eatin' apples? Whew! My souls alive! I don't wonder you grocery
storekeepers git rich in a hurry. No, I guess you needn't send 'ny
up.


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