As I have said, his genius he first fully discovered in music.
I copy from his pencilled college note-book what cannot have been written
after he was eighteen years old. The boy had been discussing
the question with himself how far his inclinations were to be regarded
as indicating his best capacities and his duties. He says:
==
"The point which I wish to settle is merely, by what method shall I ascertain
what I am fit for, as preliminary to ascertaining God's will
with reference to me; or what my inclinations are, as preliminary
to ascertaining what my capacities are, that is, what I am fit for.
I am more than all perplexed by this fact, that the prime inclination,
that is, natural bent (which I have checked, though) of my nature is to music;
and for that I have the greatest talent; indeed, not boasting,
for God gave it me, I have an extraordinary musical talent,
and feel it within me plainly that I could rise as high as any composer.
But I cannot bring myself to believe that I was intended for a musician,
because it seems so small a business in comparison with other things which,
it seems to me, I might do. Question here, What is the province of music
in the economy of the world?"
==
Similar aspirations he felt at this early age, probably eighteen,
for grand literary labor, as the same note-book would bear witness.
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