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Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander), 1882-1956

"Second Plays"

May I bring my bears with me?
CRUSOE. Of course! I ought to have said that. I have a great fondness
for animals.
GOLDILOCKS. How sweet of you! But perhaps I ought to warn you that we
all like porridge. Have you---
CRUSOE. I have a hundred acres of oats.
GOLDILOCKS. Then, Robinson, I am yours. (They embrace) There! Now tell
me--did you make all your clothes yourself?
CRUSOE (proudly). All of them.
GOLDILOCKS (going off with him). How wonderful of you! Really you
hardly seem to want a wife.
[They go out. Now it is the other couple's turn.
Enter, then, BLUEBEARD and RIDING HOOD
BLUEBEARD. Perhaps I ought to tell you at once, Miss Riding Hood, that
I have been married before.
RIDING HOOD. Yes?
BLUEBEARD. My last wife unfortunately died just before I started out
here this evening.
RIDING HOOD (calmly). Did you kill her?
BLUEBEARD (taken aback). I--I--I--
RIDING HOOD. Are you quite a nice man, Bluebeard?
BLUEBEARD. W-what do you mean? I am a very _rich_ man. If you will
marry me, you will live in a wonderful castle, full of everything that
you want.
RIDING HOOD. That will be rather jolly.
BLUEBEARD (dramatically) But there is one room into which you must
never go.


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