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Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander), 1882-1956

"Second Plays"

Telworthy--that's Olivia--so she became my Aunt
Olivia, only she lets me drop the Aunt. Got that?
PIM (a little alarmed). I--I think so, Miss Marden.
DINAH (admiringly). I say, you _are_ quick, Mr. Pim. Well, if you take
my advice, when you've finished your business with George, you will
hang about a bit and see if you can't see Olivia. She's simply
devastating. I don't wonder George fell in love with her.
PIM. It's only the merest matter of business--just a few minutes with
your uncle--I'm afraid I shall hardly--
DINAH. Well, you must please yourself, Mr. Pim. I'm just giving you a
friendly word of advice. Naturally, I was awfully glad to get such a
magnificent aunt, because, of course, marriage _is_ rather a toss up,
isn't it, and George might have gone off with anybody. It's different
on the stage, where guardians always marry their wards, but George
couldn't marry _me_ because I'm his niece. Mind you, I don't say that
I should have had him, because between ourselves he's a little bit
old-fashioned.
PIM. So he married--er--Mrs. Marden instead.
DINAH. Mrs. Telworthy--don't say you've forgotten already, just when
you were getting so good at names. Mrs. Telworthy. You see, Olivia
married the Telworthy man and went to Australia with him, and he drank
himself to death in the bush, or wherever you drink yourself to death
out there, and Olivia came home to England, and met my uncle, and he
fell in love with her and proposed to her, and he came into my room
that night--I was about fourteen--and turned on the light and said,
"Dinah, how would you like to have a beautiful aunt of your very own?"
And I said: "Congratulations, George.


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