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Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander), 1882-1956

"Second Plays"


JANE (doing her best). Positively shudder!
MELISANDE. He meets Her at--(she shudders)--a subscription dance, or a
tennis party--(she shudders again) or--at _golf_. He calls upon her
mother--perhaps in a top hat--perhaps (tragically) even in a bowler
hat.
JANE. A bowler hat! One shudders.
MELISANDE. Her mother makes tactful inquiries about his
income--discovers that he is a nice, steady young man--and decides
that he shall marry her daughter. He is asked to come again, he is
invited to parties; it is understood that he is falling in love with
the daughter. The rest of the family are encouraged to leave them
alone together--if the opportunity occurs, Jane. (Contemptuously) But,
of course, only if it occurs.
JANE (awkwardly). Yes, dear.
MELISANDE. One day he proposes to her.
JANE (to herself ecstatically). Oh!
MELISANDE. He stutters out a few unbeautiful words which she takes to
be a proposal. She goes and tells Mother. He goes and tells Father.
They are engaged. They talk about each other as "my fiance." Perhaps
they are engaged for months and months--
JANE. Years and years sometimes, Melisande.
MELISANDE. For years and years--and wherever they go, people make
silly little jokes about them, and cough very loudly if they go into a
room where the two of them are.


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