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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, June 20, 1917"

A more humane person expresses the hope that she will be
bombed that night.
"But, Madam, consider your friends," I proceed.
"Don't you call that lot my friends! I'm 'ere fer a pound of marge,
and get it I will if all the bloomin' speshuls come 'oo 're doin'
reglar coppers outer jobs."
Public opinion in the queue takes a sudden turn. One lady remarks that
these speshuls are that interfering. Another alleges that she has no
doubt I have sacks of sugar at home.
I remember the Inspector's counsel about moving on, and move myself
on.
There is one man in England who proclaims himself absolutely unfitted
to fill the Food-Controller's position.
I am that modest person.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Stage Manager._"THE ELEPHANT'S PUTTING UP A VERY
SPIRITED PERFORMANCE TO-NIGHT."
_Carpenter_. "YESSIR. YOU SEE, THE NEW HIND-LEGS IS A DISCHARGED
SOLDIER, AND THE FRONT LEGS is AN OUT-AND-OUT PACIFIST."]
* * * * *
Broody.
"WHIST DRIVE.--A sitting of eggs was given by Mrs. ---- for the
lady or gentleman sitting the greatest number of times
consecutively.


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