"
"Of course I didn't think it out at the time. But I don't deny that I had
a satisfaction in the notion of the hornets' nest he was poking his thick
head into. It makes me sick, now, to think I had. I oughtn't to have let
him; he was perfectly innocent in it. After the letter went, I wanted to
tell him, but I couldn't; and then I took the chances too. I don't
believe he could have ever got forward in politics; he's too honest--or
he isn't dishonest in the right way. But that doesn't let me out. I don't
defend myself! I did wrong; I behaved badly. But I've suffered for it.
"I've had a foreboding all the time that it would come to the worst, and
felt like a murderer with his victim when I've been alone with Stoller.
When I could get away from him I could shake it off, and even believe
that it hadn't happened. You can't think what a nightmare it's been!
Well, I've ruined Stoller politically, but I've ruined myself, too. I've
spoiled my own life; I've done what I can never explain to--to the people
I want to have believe in me; I've got to steal away like the thief I am.
Good-by!" He jumped to his feet, and put out his hand to March, and then
to Mrs. March.
"Why, you're not going away now!" she cried, in a daze.
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