Other women can lead this life safely and happily:
I cannot, and I must not go back to it, because, with all my past
experience, and in spite of all my present good resolutions, I
should do no better, and I might do worse. I'm not wise enough to
keep steady there; I must return to the old ways, dull but safe, and
plod along till I find my real place and work."
Great was the surprise of Lucy and her mother when Christie told her
resolution, adding, in a whisper, to the girl, "I leave the field
clear for you, dear, and will dance at your wedding with all my
heart when St. George asks you to play the 'Honeymoon' with him, as
I'm sure he will before long."
Many entreaties from friends, as well as secret longings, tried and
tempted Christie sorely, but she withstood them all, carried her
point, and renounced the profession she could not follow without
self-injury and self-reproach. The season was nearly over when she
was well enough to take her place again, but she refused to return,
relinquished her salary, sold her wardrobe, and never crossed the
threshold of the theatre after she had said good-bye.
Then she asked, "What next?" and was speedily answered. An
advertisement for a governess met her eye, which seemed to combine
the two things she most needed just then,--employment and change of
air.
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