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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley Says"

She hadn't
got to th' pint where she cud dhrink champagne an' keep it out iv her
nose. Th' passin' years had impaired all possible foundations f'r a new
crop iv hair. Sometimes conversation lagged.
"Mud Center is a long way fr'm th' Casino. Th' last successful
exthravaganza that th' lady had seen was a lecture be Jawn B. Gough. She
got her Eyetalian opry out iv a music box. What was there f'r this joynt
intelleck an' this household tyrant to talk about? No wondher he pined.
Think iv this Light iv th' Tendherloin bein' compelled to set down ivry
month or two an' chat about a new tooth that Hiven had just sint to a
fam'ly up th' sthreet! Nor was that all. She give him no rest. Time an'
time again she asked him was he comin' home that night. She tortured his
proud spirit be recallin' th' time whin she used to flag him fr'm th'
window iv th' room where Papa had locked her in. She aven wint so far
as to dhraw on him th' last cow'rdly weapon iv brutal wives--their
tears. One time she thravelled to New York an' wan iv his frinds seen
her. Oh, it was crool, crool. Hinnissy, tell me, wud ye condim this
gr-reat man to such a slavery just because he'd made a rash promise whin
he didn't have a cent in th' wurruld? Th' law said no.


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