"That's what Hogan says. I niver knew th' subjick races had so much in
thim befure. A few years ago I had no more thought iv Japan thin I have
iv Dorgan's cow. I admire Dorgan's cow. It's a pretty cow. I have often
leaned on th' fence an' watched Dorgan milkin' his cow. Sometimes I
wondhered in a kind iv smoky way why as good an' large a cow as that
shud let a little man like Dorgan milk her. But if Dorgan's cow shud
stand up on her hind legs, kick over the bucket, chase Dorgan out iv th'
lot, put on a khaki unyform, grab hold of a Mauser rifle an' begin
shootin' at me, I wudden't be more surprised thin I am at th' idee iv
Japan bein' wan iv th' nations iv th' wurruld. I don't see what th'
subjick races got to kick about, Hinnissy. We've been awfully good to
thim. We sint thim missionaries to teach thim th' error iv their
relligyon an' nawthin' cud be kinder thin that f'r there's nawthin'
people like betther thin to be told that their parents are not be anny
means where they thought they were but in a far more crowded an'
excitin' locality. An' with th' missionaries we sint sharpshooters that
cud pick off a Chinyman beatin' th' conthribution box at five hundherd
yards. We put up palashal goluf-coorses in the cimitries an' what was
wanst th' tomb iv Hung Chang, th' gr-reat Tartar Impror, rose to th'
dignity iv bein' th' bunker guardin' th' fifth green.
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