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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley Says"

An' sthrange to say they niver
refused. They were even betther thin that. I was lavin' th' ship whin
th' fellow that pulled th' plug out iv th' other man's bath f'r me
touched me on th' shoulder. I turned an' see a frindly gleam in his eye
that made me wondher if he had a knife. I give him what they call five
bobs over there, which is wan dollar an' twinty cints iv our money. He
touched his cap an' says Cue. I was greatly moved. But it's done wan
thing f'r me. It's made me competint f'r anny office connected with th'
legal departmint iv a sthreet railway. Be hivens, I cud hand a piece iv
change to a judge iv th' supreem coort. I hear th' Conyard line has
passed a dividend. They ought to make a merger with th' head stoort,'
says he.
"An' there ye ar-re. A boat's a boat aven whin it looks like a hotel.
But it's wondherful annyhow. Whin ye come to think iv it 'tis wondherful
that anny man cud cross th' Atlantic in annything. Th' Atlantic Ocean is
a fine body iv wather, but it's a body iv wather just th' same. It
wasn't intinded to be thravelled on. Ye cud put ye'er foot through it
annywhere. It's sloppy goin' at best. Th' on'y time a human being can
float in it is afther he's dead. A man throws a horseshoe into it an'
th' horseshoe sinks.


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