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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley Says"


"Hogan talked about nawthin' else. They were a wondherful little people.
How they had diviloped! Nawthin' in th' histhry iv th' wurruld was akel
to th' way they'd come up. They cud shoot straighter an' oftener thin
anny other nation. A Jap cud march three hundred miles a day f'r eight
days with nawthin' to eat. They were highly civvylized. It was an old
civvylization but not tainted be age. Millyons iv years befure th'
first white man set fut in Milwaukee th' Japs undhershtud th'
mannyfacther iv patent wringers, sewin'-masheens, reapers, tillyphones,
autymobills, ice-cream freezers, an' all th' other wondhers iv our
boasted Westhren divilopement.
"Their customs showed how highly they'd been civvylized. Whin a Jap
soldier was defeated, rather thin surrendher an' be sint home to have
his head cut off, he wud stab himself in th' stummick. Their treatment
iv women put thim on a higher plane thin ours. Cinchries ago befure th'
higher iddycation iv women was dhreamed iv in this counthry, th' poorest
man in Japan cud sind his daughter to a tea-house, which is th' same as
our female siminaries, where she remained till she gradyated as th' wife
iv some proud noble iv th' old Samuri push.
"Their art had ours thrimmed to a frazzle.


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