"F'r a moment th' ladies shtud dumfounded. But they did not remain long
in this unladylike attichood. Th' Chairwoman iv th' dillygation
recovered her voice an', advancin' to'rd a Sergeant who was thryin' to
skin a pair iv fours down so that it wud look like a jack full to his
ineebryated opponent, she said: 'Me brave man, d'ye ralize that that
bottle is full iv th' Seed iv Desthruction?' she says. 'I think ye'er
wrong, mum,' says he. 'It's Pilsener,' he says. 'Soon or late,' she
says, 'th' Demon Rum will desthroy ye,' she says. 'Not me,' says th'
vethran iv a thousand enlistments. 'I don't care f'r rum. A pleasant
companyon, but a gossip. It tells on ye. Th' Demon Rum with a little iv
th' Demon Hot Water an' th' Demon Sugar is very enticin', but it has a
perfume to it that is dangerous to a married man like mesilf. Rum,
madam, is an informer. Don't niver take it. I agree with ye that it's a
demon,' says he. 'Why,' says she, 'do ye drink this dhreadful poison?'
says she. 'Because,' says th' brave fellow, 'I can't get annything
sthronger without desertin,' he says.
"An' they wint down to Washington to see th' Congressmen. Ye know what a
Congressman is. I've made a few right here in this barroom. Th' on'y
thing a Congressman isn't afraid iv is th' on'y thing I'd be afraid iv,
an' that is iv bein' a Congressman.
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