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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley Says"

Th'
very young mimbers iv th' fam'ly ar-re standin' around, thryin' to look
as sad as they think they ought to look. But they can't keep it up. They
nudge each other, their eyes wandher around th' room, an' fr'm time to
time they glance over at Cousin Felix an' expect him to make a laugh'ble
face. He's a gr-reat frind iv theirs an' they're surprised he isn't
gayer. Something must've happened to him. Maybe he's lost his job. There
ar-re a gr-reat manny noises in th' sthreet. Th' undertaker whistles as
he goes by, an' two iv th' neighbors ar-re at th' gate sayin' what a
fine man ye were if ye didn't dhrink, an' askin' did ye leave much.
"An' little ye care. Everything is a millyon miles away fr'm ye. F'r th'
first time in ye'er life ye're alone. F'r the first time in ye'er life
ye ar-re ye'ersilf. F'r Hiven knows how manny years ye've been somebody
else. Ye've been ye'er wife, ye'er fam'ly, ye'er relations, th' polisman
on th' beat, th' doctor, th' newspaper reporther, th' foreman at th'
mills, th' laws iv th' land, th' bartinder that gives ye dhrinks, th'
tailor, th' barber, an' public opinion. Th' wurruld has held a
lookin'-glass in front iv ye fr'm th' day ye were born an' compelled ye
to make faces in it. But in this here particular business ye have no wan
to please but ye'ersilf.


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