He sees th' wurruld upside down. Some men
are affected diff'rent. Readin' makes thim weep. But it makes Hogan
believe in fairies while he's at it. He's irresponsible. There ain't
annything in th' wurruld f'r him but dark villyans an' blond heroes. An'
he's always fightin' these here imaginary inimies an' frinds, wantin' to
desthroy a poor, tired, scared villyan, an' losin' his good money to a
hero. I've thried to stop him. 'Use ye'er willpower,' say I. 'Limit
ye'ersilf to a book or two a day,' says I. 'Stay in th' open air. Take
soft readin'. How d'ye expict to get on in th' wurruld th' way ye are
goin'? Who wud make a confirmed reader th' cashier iv a bank? Ye'd
divide ye'er customers into villyans an' heroes an' ye wudden't lend
money to th' villyans. An' thin ye'd be wrong aven if ye were right. F'r
th' villyans wud be more apt to have th' money to bring back thin th'
heroes,' says I. 'Ye may be right,' says he. 'But 'tis too late to do
annything with me. An' I don't care. It may hurt me in th' eyes iv me
fellow counthrymen, but look at th' fun I get out iv it. I wudden't
thrade th' injanyous wicked people an' th' saints that I see f'r all
th' poor, dull, half-an'-half crathers that ye find in th' wurruld,'
says he.
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