If ye will go on decoratin' ye'er house with shingles
an' paint an' puttin' paper on th' walls an' adornin' th' inside iv it
with ye'er barbaric taste f'r eight day clocks, cane bottom chairs an'
karosene lamps, ye've got to settle, that's all. Ye've flaunted ye'er
wealth too long in th' face iv a sturdy people.
"Ye'd think th' way such as ye talk that ivrything is taxed. It ain't
so. 'Tis an insult to th' pathritism iv Congress to say so. Th'
Republican party, with a good deal iv assistance fr'm th' pathriotic
Dimmycrats, has been thrue to its promises. Look at th' free list, if ye
don't believe it. Practically ivrything nicissry to existence comes in
free. What, f'r example, says ye? I'll look. Here it is. Curling stones.
There, I told ye. Curling stones are free. Ye'll be able to buy all
ye'll need this summer f'r practically nawthin'. No more will ladies
comin' into this counthry have to conceal curling stones in their
stockin's to avoid th' iniquitous customs.
"What else? Well, teeth. Here it is in th' bill: 'Teeth free iv jooty.'
Undher th' Dingley bill they were heavily taxed. Onless ye cud prove that
they had cost ye less thin a hundhred dollars, or that ye had worn thim
f'r two years in Europe, or that ye were bringin' thim in f'r scientific
purposes or to give a museem, there was an enormous jooty on teeth.
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