Th'
Governmint used to sind profissyonal humorists down to th' docks to
catch th' teeth smugglers. But fr'm now on ye can flaunt ye'er teeth in
th' face iv anny inspictor. Ye don't have to declare thim. Ye don't have
to put thim in th' bottom iv ye'er thrunk. Ye don't have to have thim
chalked or labelled befure ye get off th' dock. Ye don't have to hand a
five to th' inspictor an' whisper: 'I've got a few bicuspids that I
picked up while abroad. Be a good fellow an' let me through.' No, sir,
teeth are free.
"What other nicissities, says ye? Well, there's sea moss. That's a good
thing. Ivry poor man will apprecyate havin' sea moss to stir in his tea.
Newspapers, nuts, an' nux vomica ar-re free. Ye can take th' London
_Times_ now. But that ain't all by anny means. They've removed th' jooty
on Pulu. I didn't think they'd go that far, but in spite iv th'
protests iv th' Pulu foundhries iv Sheboygan they ruthlessly sthruck it
fr'm th' list iv jootyable articles. Ye know what Pulu is, iv coorse,
an' I'm sure ye'll be glad to know that this refreshin' bev'rage or soap
is on th' free list. Sinitor Root in behalf iv th' pulu growers iv New
York objicted, but Sinitor Aldhrich was firm. 'No, sir,' he says, 'we
must not tax annything that enters into th' daily life iv th' poor,' he
says.
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