Flannel shirts? Thry to be a little practical, Hinnissy.
Sinitor Aldhrich ain't no majician. Well, I might as well tell ye if
ye're sure ye'er heart is sthrong an' ye can stand a joyful surprise.
Ar-re ye ready? Well, thin, joss sticks an' opyum f'r smokin' ar-re on
th' free list! If they ain't I'm a Chinyman an' if they are I'll be wan
pretty soon.
"How often have I envied Hop Lung whin I see him burnin' his priceless
joss sticks. How often have I seen him lyin' on top iv me week's washin'
pullin' away at th' savry rooster brand an' dhreamin' he was th' Impror
iv Chiny, while I've had to contint mesilf with a stogy that give me a
headache! But that day is passed. Me good an' great frind fr'm Rhode
Island has made me th' akel iv anny Chink that iver rolled a pill. Th'
tariff bill wudden't be complete without that there item. But it ought
to read: 'Opyum f'r smokin' while readin' th' tariff bill.' Ye can take
this sterlin' piece iv lithrachoor to a bunk with ye an' light a ball iv
hop. Befure ye smoke up p'raps ye can't see where th' tariff has been
rejooced. But afther ye've had a long dhraw it all becomes clear to ye.
Ye'er worries about th' childhren's shoes disappear an' ye see
ye'ersilf floatin' over a purple sea iv alazarin, in ye'er private
yacht, lulled be th' London _Times_, surrounded be wurruks iv art more
thin twinty years old, atin' marshmallows an' canary bur-rd seed, while
th' turtles an' leeches frisk on th' binnacle.
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