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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley Says"


"Well, sir, if nobody else has read th' debates on th' tariff bill, I
have. An' I'll tell ye, Hinnissy, that no such orathry has been heerd in
Congress since Dan'l Webster's day, if thin. Th' walls iv Congress hall
has resounded with th' loftiest sintimints. Hinnery Cabin Lodge in
accents that wud melt th' heart iv th' coldest mannyfacthrer iv button
shoes has pleaded f'r freedom f'r th' skins iv cows. I'm sorry to say
that this appeal fr'm th' cradle iv our liberties wasn't succissful. Th'
hide iv th' pauperized kine iv Europe will have to cough up at th'
custom house befure they can be convarted into brogans. This pathriotic
result was secured be th' gallant Bailey iv Texas. A fine lib'ral minded
fellow, that lad Bailey. He's an ardint free thrader, mind ye. He's
almost a slave to th' historic principles iv th' Dimmycratic party. Ye
bet he is. But he's no blamed bigot. He can have principles an' he can
lave thim alone. An' I want to tell ye, me frind, that whin it comes to
disthributin' th' honors f'r this reform iv th' tariff, don't ye fail to
throw a few flowers, or, if bricks are handier, bricks at th'
riprisintatives iv our small but gallant party. It was a fine thing to
see thim standin' be th' battle cry iv our grand old organyzation.


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