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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley Says"

He's issued a statement sayin'
that he's a custojeen iv money appinted be himsilf. He looks afther his
own money an' th' money iv other people. He takes it an' puts it where
it won't hurt thim an' they won't spoil it. He's a kind iv a society f'r
th' previntion of croolty to money. If he finds a man misusing his money
he takes it away fr'm him an' adopts it. Ivry Saturdah night he lets th'
man see it fr a few hours. An' he says he's surprised to find that whin,
with th' purest intintions in th' wurruld, he is found thryin' to coax
our little money to his home where it'll find conjanial surroundings an'
have other money to play with, th' people thry to lynch him an' th'
polis arrest him f'r abduction.
"So as a matther iv principle he appealed th' case. An appeal, Hinnissy,
is where ye ask wan coort to show it's contempt f'r another coort. 'Tis
sthrange that all th' pathrites that have wanted to hang Willum Jennings
Bryan an' mesilf f'r not showin' proper respect f'r th' joodicyary, are
now showin' their respect f'r th' joodicyary be appealin' fr'm their
decisions. Ye'd think Jawn D. wud bow his head reverentially in th'
awful presence iv Kenesaw Mt. Landis an' sob out: 'Thank ye'er honor.
This here noble fine fills me with joy.


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