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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley Says"


"That's th' way Jawn D. felt about it an' he didn't settle. I wondher
will they put him away if he don't pay ivinchooly? 'Twill be a long
sentence. A frind iv mine wanst got full iv kerosene an' attempted to
juggle a polisman. They thried him whin he come out iv th' emergency
hospital an' fined him a hundhred dollars. He didn't happen to have that
amount with him at th' moment or at anny moment since th' day he was
born. But the judge was very lenient with him. He said he needn't pay it
if he cuddent. Th' coort wud give him a letther of inthroduction to th'
bridewell an' he cud stay there f'r two hundhred days. At that rate
it'll be a long time befure Jawn D. an' me meet again on the
goluf-links. Hogan has it figured out that if Jawn D. refuses to go back
on his Puritan principles an' separate himsilf fr'm his money he'll be
wan hundhred an' fifty-eight thousand years in cold storage. A man ought
to be pretty good at th' lock step in a hundhred an' fifty-eight
thousand years.
"Well, sir, glory be but times has changed whin they land me gr-reat an'
good frind with a fine that's about akel to three millyon dhrunk an'
disorderly cases. 'Twud've been cheaper if he'd took to dhrink arly in
life. I've made a vow, Hinnissy, niver to be very rich.


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