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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley Says"

I'd like to be
a little rich, but not rich enough f'r anny wan to notice that me
pockets bulged. Time was whin I dhreamed iv havin' money an' lots iv it.
'Tis thrue I begun me dhreams at th' wrong end, spent th' money befure I
got it. I was always clear about th' way to spend it but oncertain about
th' way to get it. If th' Lord had intinded me to be a rich man He'd've
turned me dhreams around an' made me clear about makin' th' money but
very awkward an' shy about gettin' rid iv it. There are two halves to
ivry dollar. Wan is knowin' how to make it an' th' other is not knowin'
how to spend it comfortably. Whin I hear iv a man with gr-reat business
capacity I know he's got an akel amount iv spending incapacity. No
matter how much he knew about business he wuddent be rich if he wasn't
totally ignorant iv a science that we have developed as far as our means
will allow. But now, I tell ye, I don't dhream iv bein' rich. I'm afraid
iv it. In th' good old days th' polis coorts were crowded with th'
poor. They weren't charged with poverty, iv coorse, but with the results
iv poverty, d'ye mind. Now, be Hivens, th' rich have invaded even th'
coorts an' the bridewell. Manny a face wearin' side whiskers an' gold
rimmed specs peers fr'm th' windows iv th' black Maria.


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