'That lowly worker in th' vineyard iv th' Lord
who astonished th' wurruld be atin' glass in th' pulpit an' havin' th'
Bible tattooed on him. I wish th' privilege iv standin' on me head an'
playin' "A charge to keep I have" on the accorjeen with me feet.
'Granted,' says th' coort. 'I will now charge th' jury as to th' law an'
th' fact: I am all mixed up on th' law; th' fact is there's a mob
outside waitin' to lynch ye if ye don't do what it wants. Th' coort will
now adjourn be th' back dure.' 'Where's th' pris'ner?' says th' expert.
'He has gone to addhress a mothers' meetin',' says th' clerk. 'Thin I
must be goin' too,' says th' expert. An' there ye ar-re."
"I'm glad that fellow got me off", said Mr. Hennessy, "but thim experts
ar-re a bad lot. What's th' difference between that kind iv tistymony
an' perjury?"
"Ye pay ye'er money an' take ye'er choice", said Mr. Dooley.
THE CALL OF THE WILD
"Well, sir," said Mr. Dooley, "I see me frind Tiddy Rosenfelt has been
doin' a little lithry criticism, an' th' hospitals are full iv mangled
authors. Th' next time wan iv thim nature authors goes out into th'
woods lookin' f'r his prey he'll go on crutches."
"What's it about?" asked Mr. Hennessy.
"'Twas this way," said Mr.
Pages:
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143