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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley Says"

Dooley. "I have it fr'm Hogan, me lithry
adviser. He keeps me posted on what's goin' on in lithrachoor, an' I do
th' same f'r him on crime. I've always got a little something that's
excitin' comin' to me, but this time he's made good. It seems, ye see,
that a good manny iv th' la-ads that write th' books have been lavin'
th' route iv th' throlley line an' takin' to th' woods. They quit Myrtle
an' Clarence an' th' wrong done to Oscar Lumlovitch be th' brutal
foreman iv lard tank nine, an' wint to wurruk on th' onhappy love
affairs iv Carrie Boo, th' deer, an' th' throubles in th' domestic
relations iv th' pan fish an' th' skate. F'r th' last year th' on'y
books that Hogan has told me about have been wrote about animiles. I've
always thought iv th' beasts iv th' forest prowlin' around an' takin' a
leg off a man that'd been sint to Colorado f'r his lungs. But these boys
tell me they're diff'rent in their home life. They fall in love, get
marrid an' divoorced, bring up fam'lies, an' are supported or devoured
be thim, as th' case may be, accumylate money, dodge taxes, dhrink to
excess, an' in ivry way act like human bein's. I wudden't be surprised
to know that a bear had a tillyphone in his room, an' that th' gopher
complained iv his gas bills.


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