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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley Says"


"'The Impror held a meetin' iv th' Elder Statesmen to-night to discuss
sindin' a fleet to San Francisco to punish th' neglect iv threaty rights
iv th' Japanese be a sthreet car conductor who wudden't let a subjick iv
th' Mickydoo ride on th' Thirty-first Sthreet line with an Ogden Avnoo
thransfer dated August eighteen hundherd an' siventy-two.' 'Th'
Prisidint has ordhered th' arrest an' imprisonmint iv a dentist in
Albany who hurt a Jap'nese whose tooth he was fillin'. He has raquisted
th' Mickydoo to give us another chance befure layin' waste our land.'
'Followin' th' advice iv th' Jap'nese ambassadure f'r poor young Japs to
marry rich American girls, a Jap'nese combynation theelogical student
an' cook applied f'r th' hand iv th' daughter iv th' boordin'-house
keeper where he was employed. He was able to limp to th' Jap'nese
Consul's house, where he made a complaint to th' Impror, who was an old
frind iv his father. Th' Prisidint has ordhered th' lady to marry th'
Chink.' 'Th' Hoop-la Theatre was closed last night on complaint iv th'
Jap'nese ambassadure that th' Fluff Opry Comp'ny was givin' a
riprisintation iv Jap'nese charackter in pink robes instead iv th'
seemly black derby hats, a size too large, Prince Albert coats,
pear-colored pants, button shoes, sthring neckties, an' spectacles which
is th' well-known unyform iv th' gloryous race.


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