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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley Says"

Th' monarch's mind turned to th' subjick iv war an' he says
to himsilf: 'What a dhreadful thing it is that such a beautiful wurruld
shud be marred be thousands iv innocint men bein' sint out to shoot each
other f'r no cause whin they might betther stay at home an' wurruk f'r
their rile masthers,' he says. 'I will disguise mesilf as a moojik an'
go over to th' tillygraft office an' summon a meetin' iv th' Powers,' he
says.
"That's how it come about. All th' powers sint dillygates an' a g-reat
manny iv th' weaknesses did so too. They met in Holland an' they have
been devotin' all their time since to makin' war impossible in th'
future. Th' meetin' was opened with an acrimonyous debate over a
resolution offered be a dillygate fr'm Paryguay callin' f'r immeejit
disarmamint, which is th' same, Hinnissy, as notifyin' th' Powers to
turn in their guns to th' man at th' dure. This was carrid be a very
heavy majority. Among those that voted in favor iv it were: Paryguay,
Uryguay, Switzerland, Chiny, Bilgium, an' San Marino. Opposed were
England, France, Rooshya, Germany, Italy, Austhree, Japan, an' the
United States.
"This was regarded be all present as a happy auggry. Th' convintion thin
discussed a risolution offered be th' Turkish dillygate abolishin' war
altogether.


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