"Th' Hon'rable Joe Choate moved that in all future wars horses shud be
fed with hay wheriver possible. Carrid. A long informal talk on th'
reinthroduction iv scalpin' followed. At last th' dillygate fr'm Chiny
arose an' says he: 'I'd like to know what war is. What is war annyhow?'
'Th' Lord knows, we don't,' says th' chairman. 'We're all profissors iv
colledges or lawyers whin we're home,' he says. 'Is it war to shoot my
aunt?' says th' dillygate fr'm Chiny. Cries iv 'No, no.' 'Is it war to
hook me father's best hat that he left behind whin he bashfully hurrid
away to escape th' attintions iv Europeen sojery?' he says. 'Is robbery
war?' says he. 'Robbery is a nicissry part iv war,' says th' English
dillygate. 'F'r th' purpose iv enfoorcin' a moral example,' he says.
"'Well,' says old Wow Chow, 'I'd like to be able to go back home an' tell
thim what war really is. A few years back ye sint a lot iv young men
over to our part iv th' wurruld an' without sayin' with ye'er leave or
by ye'er leave they shot us an' they hung us up be our psyche knots an'
they burned down our little bamboo houses. Thin they wint up to Pekin,
set fire to th' town, an' stole ivry thing in sight. I just got out iv
th' back dure in time to escape a jab in th' spine fr'm a German that I
niver see befure.
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