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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley Says"

His childher are all grown up an' safe
in jail, he has four hundhred an' eighty-nine less wives, but iliven are
a good manny in th' suburbs; he has put away a few piasthres f'r a rainy
day, out-iv-dure life may improve his health, an' I shudden't wondher if
ye'd read some day in th' pa-aper: 'At th' Stambool county fair th'
first prize f'r Poland Chiny hens was won be A. Hamid, th' pop'lar
ex-sultan.'
"Ye can't tell annything about it. Give th' poor man a chance, says I.
There may be th' makins iv a dacint citizen in him afther all. What
opporchunity has he had, tell me? What can ye expict fr'm a man that
niver was taught annything betther thin that he cud do annything he
wanted to do without bein' called down f'r it? It doesn't make anny
diff'rence whether 'tis a polisman or th' Rajah iv Beloochistan, be
gorry, put a club in his hand an' tell him that he can use it an' he'll
begin usin' it tomorrah. He'll break wan head tomorrah, two th' next
day, an' befure he's been on th' foorce or th' throne a year it'll be a
whack on th' chimbly befure he says 'How ar-re ye.' By an' by he'll get
so manny people afraid iv him that he'll be in danger and that'll make
him afraid iv thim, an' thin he'll be more dangerous thin iver, d'ye
mind? Th' on'y man ye need to be afraid iv is th' man that's afraid iv
ye.


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