An' that's what makes a tyrant. He's scared to death. If I'd thought
about it whin I r-read iv me frind murdherin' people I'd've known they'd
find him thremblin' in a room an' shootin' at th' hired girl whin she
come in with his porridge. So I'm glad afther all that I didn't put in
me application. I want no man to fear me. I'd hate to be more of a
coward thin I am."
"What ar-re these Turkish athrocities I've been r-readin' about?" said
Mr. Hennessy.
"I don't know," said Mr. Dooley. "I don't keep thim. Have a cigar?"
VACATIONS
"Well, sir," said Mr. Dooley, "I raaly don't know whether I'm glad or
sorry to get back. It seems a little sthrange to be here again in the
turmoil iv life in a large city, but thin, again, 'tis pleasant to see
th' familyar faces wanst more. Has annything happened since I wint away
on me vacation? Did ye miss me? Am I much sunburnt?"
"What ar-re ye talkin' about?" asked Mr. Hennessy. "I see ye on'y last
night."
"Ye did not," said Mr. Dooley. "Ye may have seen me undherstudy, but ye
didn't see me. Where was I? It depinds on what time iv night it was. If
it was eight o'clock, I was croosin' in Pierpont Morgan's yacht off th'
coast iv Labrador. We were both iv us settin' up on th' front stoop iv
th' boat.
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