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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley Says"


"Yes, sir, ye can't injye a vacation without th' pa-apers. How glad I am
to know that Congress has adjourned afther rejoocin' th' tariff to a
level where th' poorest are within its reach. An' how cud I be happy
away fr'm here if I didn't know how me frind Willum Taft was gettin' on
at goluf. Iv coorse I'm inthrested in all that goes on at th' summer
capitol. I am glad to know that Charles played tennis fr'm ten to iliven
an' aftherward took a throlley car ride to Lynn, where he bought a pair
iv shoes an' a piece iv blueberry pie, but at two o'clock had entirely
recovered. But th' rale inthrest is in th' prisidint's goluf. Me
fav'rite journal prints exthries about it. 'Specyal exthry; six thirty.
Horrible rumor. Prisidint Taft repoorted stymied.' He's th' best goluf
player we've iver had as prisidint. He cud give Abra'm Lincoln a shtroke
a stick. He bate th' champeen iv the' wurruld last week be a scoore iv
wan hundhred an' eighty-two to siventy-six. He did so.
"Here's a column about yisterdah's game. 'A large crowd assimbled to see
th' match. Prisidint appeared ca'm an' collected. He wore his club
unyform, gray pants, black leather belt, an' blue shirt. His opponent,
th' sicrety iv war, was visibly narvous. Th' prisident was first off
th' tee with an excellent three while his opponent was almost hopelessly
bunkered in a camera.


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