It could not be analyzed, nor even expressed definitely in words, but
he comprehended this much--he would really enjoy rescuing this girl,
and he should like to live long enough to discover into what sort of
woman she would develop.
It was no spirit of bravado that gave rise to his reckless speech of an
hour previous. It was simply a spontaneous outpouring of his real
nature, an unpremeditated expression of that supreme carelessness with
which he regarded the future, the small value he set on life. He truly
felt as utterly indifferent toward fate as his words signified. Deeply
conscious of a life long ago irretrievably wrecked, everything behind a
chaos, everything before worthless,--for years he had been actually
seeking death; a hundred times he had gladly marked its apparent
approach, a smile of welcome upon his lips. Yet it had never quite
succeeded in reaching him, and nothing had been gained beyond a
reputation for cool, reckless daring, which he did not in the least
covet. But now, miracle of all miracles, just as the end seemed
actually attained, seemed beyond any possibility of being turned aside,
he began to experience a desire to live--he wanted to save this girl.
Pages:
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43